How many more blogs?

It's painful to be reminded of how many drugs and jabs are involved to keep this life-force going...

I didn't expect it to come back again, but it did.

The needles that pierce right into the skin again and again just so that I can continue to live, just so that the fever will go away, just so that mortality does not have a going concern.

Why did I even bother?

I can't breathe, my heart can only race for breath, but no matter how hard the lung tried to capture the oxygen, there seems to be none. The brain felt light, the heart felt pain, the body enduring high degree of temperature like years before, but cold sweat broke out like they are from the polar, grasping every bit of oxygen the earth can provide.

And yet I live once again.

But for how long? How much longer? Will I have to endure this again? Do I need to be reminded of this pain and agony of mortal weakness?

On a night like this

This is the first time I am writing in this manner...

On a night like this, when I looked out at the window and had no mood to enjoy the night sky.

On a night like this, as I typed on this computer all I could think of is my dream.

Dreams are meant to be realised and not just dreamt at.

I do know that.

I do feel love when you burdened yourself hours before hitting the sacks to realise my dreams.

For the first time, I felt dreams so near yet so far.

Chances are popping up everywhere but I felt helpless.

No strength to move on from here.

My heart beat quietens as I feel the heartbeat of my dreams pumped harder and closer.

So this is the type of feeling.. when u feel dreams.. yet do not have complete control over realising it.

I can't sleep.

I can't read.

I can't eat.

And all I could do was to think of the dream.

No degree or certificates are enough to realise this dream.

It seems too precious.

The opportunities seem to be coming from everywhere.

And my love and want for it seem to intensify by the seconds.

If only I could just stretch out my hand and reach for it.

If only I could.

But dreams take courage to reach out for.

I do have courage.

All I need is a chance.

A chance to hold on to it, and I will never ever let go. Not after pursuing it for nearly a decade.

I pray for it.

Una carriera nel settore alberghiero!!!

And that's all I ask for..

Some Facts Needs To Be Right

I was simple

But never naive

I was mild

But never avoidance

I was nice

But never benevolent

But that was yesterday....

If I smiled

I am mocking

If I am neutral

I am indifferent

If I glare

You know you are pinned

Behind all smiles

There are daggers

Behind the apparent society

There are deceptions

Behind my indifference

You know danger is lurking

If this is the world you learn about

Will you be happy?

Steer clear of paths

Because nothing is sincere

Nothing last forever

Attachment?

What a mocking word!!!

The one you attached to most will be the one who spill your blood most...

I could have done it...

我做得到
But it's all too late
I am sorry I let you go

La nostra vita

我忘了把你凝固
让你像沙从我指缝间留走
是我不会把握
争取和你相会的每一刻
我以为你是习惯
原来早已成了喜欢

时间不曾停留
残酷的把你从我身边带走
我留不住时间
更加留不住你
原来你再也不会为我停留
连再见也不曾回头

只想大声对你说
只有我们最熟习的语言
Ti Amo
Questa è la nostra vita
Noi apparteniamo a vicenda
Scusa sono arrivato troppo tardi

Survival in darker days

Dark Clouds
Hover in the sky above
Turning the blue sky dark
Sucking out every activity Earth permits
And the air turns still
Dead still

Luxury of motions forbidden
Frozen in place as the warm air intensified
Un-endurable burning sensation
Scorching
As the solid form of skin seethe
But not sublimed
The life got trapped in pain and torment beyond words

As the world gets darker
And darker
The soul was sucked out
Lifeless carcass
Forced to leave
Forced to stay
And you need to survive
Survive
Survive

Your mental self struggled to defend this overwhelming sensation
An undying physical self
Pulling apart
The last of muscle
Pushing the white bones to break free

And then
You left your soul behind
And then you become a lifeless servant
And then you scream out VITA VITA VITA

But that's the end of what you have become
You have lost it all
Heartless
Soul-less
Mortal descend

Sucked into the darker days
While the soul left behind in the furnance
Cannot be sublime
And the body left in a world
Without a tingle of want to live on
But it lives on
A living dead

With the darker days behind
It's too late to call back the soul
It's all too late
But I live on..

*That's the courage of life. To live on. No matter what you do.
VITA CORAGGIOSA!!!!

It's a simple world!!!

The rain falls down in June

The sky tears as you fade away

I could be closer to you but you pushed me away

And all these lonely nights

Both tormented by memories of you and I

I told you it is a simple world

And all you ever need to think of was you and I

But you have burdened yourselves with mortal's perceptions

Burning our bare skins

With words that cut through like daggers

There were actually no options

It isn't like the cross-road we used to stand

We were sinking since the day we met

And going

Deep deep under the cold waters

I don't know what's wrong with this simple world

I don't know how to make the rights wrong

But all I know was you and I

We could be together till the end of time

Even in eternal flames I perish

But your every smile smooths me like a loving gesture

For a simple goodbye bides your farewell

A simple goodnight drops the end

To a simple loving story...........

永久に

How long is forever if tomorrow is all I have?

It's you, I've ever wanted

You crowded my mind
There's nothing inside
And then you conquer
It's you who's inside

I can't be freed
You're convicted
You kipnapped my soul
And locked it inside

But now you're gone
I'm still trapped inside
Wishing you're here
Together with me

Oh baby won't you come back to me tonight
It's you who I wanna hold on tight
Oh baby won't you turn back to me tonight
For it's you I've ever wanted

I can't be freed
I need you with me
I can't release
You're all that I had
Just keep me locked
with you inside
For it's you I've ever wanted

Wedding Dress

You stand out like an angel as the sun shine through the glass

In that wedding dress you wear

A stunning irresistible angel

I look into your eyes and my heart flutters

It's a longing so desperate

so much wanting and so much giving

As I watch him reached out for you

My angel, my princess

no more.. as you cuddle in his arms

and all I can say is ..

I wish you well

I truly do

A million times I have called out "I do"

My angel, my princess

All I can see is you

So far away your soul

So near you are

I cannot stop thinking about you

I cannot resist you

But you keep pushing me away

away

away

And in this wedding dress you stand out

Like an angel from above

captivating my every breath

You have sinned

My mortal soul is your captive

I am enslaved in your every smile

Oh Angel...

You stand out like an angel as the sun shine through the glass

In that wedding dress you wear

A stunning irresistible angel

I look into your eyes and my heart flutters

Your white skin, and clear blue eyes

Your growth and your everything

I wish you well

and I bury six foot under

my eternal love for you.........